Summer with the kids…(Please send wine. No, really, send it..)

I’ve been missing from here and that can only mean one thing…it’s summer.

I’m driving children here, there, and everywhere…trying to carve out some time to just sit down in silence to reflect and recharge.

I’m still waiting for that to happen.

Yesterday I decided to do some much needed weeding. It had rained here in Michigan the night before…the ground was soft and I thought that this would make it a bit easier to pull up  all these weeds that have invaded my garden beds. I will add that I poured Preen (weed killer) all over my mulch in a vain attempt to thwart their invasion. Ha.

There I was, rubber garden gloves on, t-shirt, work out capris and gym shoes, furiously pulling up weeds.

Now here is the thing. My neighbor, a super nice guy…well…his lawn, an island in a sea of well landscaped, beautifully maintained yards…well…his lawn is ALL weeds. I mean, there is maybe one blade of grass in his back yard. You can see the poison ivy climbing up his trees and house. We had a lovely chat, over our fence, talking about our children..he told me how his son had been bitten by a garter snake trimming the bushes last week.. and in my mind I thought JUDAS PRIEST ARE YOU NOT GETTING THAT YOU SHOULD MAYBE DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR YARD???? But instead I just nodded as the kid was fine, as it was just a garter snake, and I was being polite.

I went back to weeding and discovered a GIANT fungus thing growing in my front bed. It’s about a foot in diameter, layered like a water fall, and freakish looking. It reminded me of some really bad cases of venereal diseases I had seen in text books…any way, I was distracted and I still don’t know how to take care of this monster growing in my front yard. I continued yanking up weeds and stumbled onto a huge patch of (goddammit) poison ivy growing amongst my flowers.

I was in full force Macho Mom mode, so I (stupidly) thought, well Hell’s Bells, I will just pull that shit right out. So I tried to. And then about half way through it occurred to me that this might not be the wisest thing to do as the four-foot strands of ivy were flying up into the air and I was wearing short sleeves…I was pretty sure it hadn’t touched my arms…but…then I started to get paranoid as I was (duh) wearing my capri work out pants and (duh) short sleeves and I had been deep inside my flowers trying to get at the root of this massive poison ivy plant.

I jumped back like I had been shocked and thought well, I probably should go shower…so…I casually walked into my house…took off my gloves like I had just done surgery and put them high up on a shelf..then went up and took a nice hot shower. I scrubbed my arms off and realized that they were tingling. I told myself it was just my imagination. Then I thought hmmm, I probably should have looked up how to treat a poison ivy exposure BEFORE I jumped into the shower…because I was/am a nurse…duh…(this is what happens when you take a nurse out of her profession for too long…the brain begins to rot…)

I got out, dried off and looked it up on my phone. Of course it said to wash off the area with cool water only–that hot water would only spread the poisonous oil. AWESOME. Now I was tingling for real…kept telling myself it was my imagination. I slathered my arms with hydrocortisone cream.

I am pleased to announce that I have no rash on my arms. I was a little nervous to note a few red spots on my face this morning but no blisters…thank goodness. The last thing I need is to look like a freak of nature.

I guess the point of this post is to point out that this is the high light of my week since I’M TRAPPED WITH MY CHILDREN.

Please feel free to send reinforcements, wine, or a replacement for a few hours.

I love my kids.

I love summer.

Just not together…

Now to go back outside and bag all those damn weeds…

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