Water works

Ok, so I’m a little choked up again. I have a feeling this is going to happen all weekend as two of my children graduate high school.

The reason I’m misty eyed right now is this–I just finished watching Ellen (yeah, I know I’m a borderline stalker–whatever) and today’s episode featured a high functioning autistic boy who was asked out to prom by a super sweet neuro-typical girl.

That alone is enough to evoke water works. But wait–there’s more! Then they received crowns–he put on his crown immediately–let me tell you how proud his face was. I was a mushball at this point. Seriously. Then they got a gift basket from the New York Jets–his favorite team. He was about to implode with happiness. I was about to implode with happiness for him.

And yet.

And yet there was a part of me…that wished my son was as high functioning as him. And hated myself for having that thought. For not being grateful for having the son I have. I admit it. I’m honest. It sucks being this brutally honest.

This young man has a future in front of him. My son does as well….but a future with care givers, constant supervision, and constant worry (from me). My son’s future contains many trips to the zoo and to the park. My son’s future probably contains some public melt downs and then three person take downs..and some physical injuries to the care givers–which means me and whomever I have with me that particular day.

My son’s future…well, I will write more on this after he graduates. Once I get thru the waterworks. Public sobbing being frowned upon, I will have to sedate myself to get thru both ceremonies–which are hours apart.

Stay tuned.

In the meantime, I better go pick up some more Kleenex…

3 thoughts on “Water works

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