I just wanted to give you a behind the scenes look at my life..
The other night I was trying to figure out how to single space this damn blog…for my “Ode To My Stalker” post…I was getting frustrated and decided I needed to call a professional.
So I called my oldest daughter.
She is a teacher and actually knows how to use a Mac, as opposed to me, somebody not familiar with a newish Mac..and definitely NOT a teacher.
The first thing she had me do was use Facetime on our iPhones, something I HAD NEVER DONE BEFORE. I was all like “WHOA–HOLY SHIT–IT’S LIKE YOU’RE RIGHT HERE WITH ME!!!” She was all like “Calm down, Jesus, it’s called TECHNOLOGY YOU ASS.” I replied that it wasn’t very nice to call her mother an ass. She replied that I was the one that needed her..
She had me over a barrel and we both knew it. Curses. I flipped my phone around so she could see my computer screen and we began to figure out the problem. Then I noticed my chin when I turned the phone back to me and I saw what I looked like. Then I asked if I needed a chin lift. Then I noticed that she was drinking wine. Then I told her she needed to be careful that she didn’t develop a drinking problem. To which she responded–“Oh, you mean like YOU???” To which I replied that I had stopped drinking and hadn’t had a drink since Sunday. Which was a LONG TIME, considering that this was WEDNESDAY.
This caused her to start laughing at me and launch some F bombs in my direction about my new-found sobriety. I replied that I had F-ing raised her better than that, and to show some F-ing respect.
By this point we were both on the floor, laughing, with our iPhones pointed to the ceiling.
I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
I just wish I could get her to drink better wine. Moscato–Ugh.
I just wanted to let you know who the technical team was behind all of this.