He’ll be back…(or, War of (my) Worlds…)

I got in a fight yesterday. Ok, maybe not a fight. More of a disagreement. Ok, maybe more of a shouting obscenities match. One sided.

Here is what happened. I had to take my daughter to the optometrist as she needs both new contacts and glasses. I had to call around to find a place that took our insurance and found one not too far from us, but on a busy road.

I plugged the address into my handy Garmin GPS, as my Mighty Explorer is too old to have a fancy in dash computer, picked her up from school, and off we went to the appointment. I needed the GPS to tell me where on the road the business was. The road was three lanes wide….and by 4 pm, we were now in rush hour traffic.

The voice on my GPS unit, normally annoying in its demands to turn right now! every two seconds…was silent….until I reached my destination. Then it announced, loudly, that I had reached it–and I looked around wildly, only to discover that it was on the right–and I was three lanes over on the left.

I began swearing at my Garmin GPS unit. She silently mocked me.  I drove through the intersection and made a “Michigan Left,” the whole time yelling at my Garmin. A head’s up that my destination was approaching would have been nice. Knowing which side of the street would have been nice.

And…while I know this is going to sound crazy…I am not a conspiracy theorist..for the most part any way…my asshole Garmin…this is how I know Skynet is real you (all).

Listen (or rather look, as you’re reading..) the Terminator is raising his steely head in yet another movie this summer. It’s scary enough to think about Arnold making a movie come back. That alone can strike fear in an average person (say it isn’t so…NOOOO….).

But Skynet…what a clever way to take over the world…one GPS at a time…

I know…right? It’s scary as hell!!!

And I’m fairly certain Skynet is beginning with my damn GPS. Her voice is even a bit condescending.


Good thing I can actually read a map (unlike many of today’s youth…).

I’m going to channel my inner Linda Hamilton…the bad ass version…the next time I have to use this damn unit.

Bring it, Garmin. I see your Skynet, and I am ready…my crumpled street map in hand.

Just don’t let me see any steel skulls. ‘Cause then I’m out. Just saying. I know my limits. Sigh.


(By the way, this is the actual Terminator skull–they are keeping it in Seattle–JUST SO YOU KNOW….)

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